LA Chronicles 20.5

As if my car issues from the previous post were not enough. Yesterday I picked up a rental car while the Jeep is having a little plastic surgery done. (Nothing too serious just a little Cali Nip & Tuck.) I should have realized how this would turn out when I pulled into the lot. I don't know about you but I'm accustomed to seeing rows of similar vehicles based on the class. (i.e. Mid-Size, Full-Size, SUV) Not the Enterprise on La Brea. They take the "we'll pick you up" tagline serious. Basically all the employees drive in and rent out there own cars and take the bus home. It really did look like a parking lot at your local high school. It was full of two door, hatch-back, hybrid (without the electric benefits), 1996, beat-up, clown car options. I just knew they would drive my Pontiac G6 up once I filled out all the paperwork from some mysterious bat cave. Nope not today. I was lucky enough to pick from a Rio, Chevy Cobalt, and PT Cruiser. Now these options wouldn't be all that bad if they were new cars but again most of these cars have been to their 10 year high school reunion. I actually drove a better car while I was in high school…

Moment of silence for my 1992 Ford Escort WITH the "sport" spoiler….

But back to the rental, so I picked the Cobalt. She handed me the keys and it was only one key on the key chain. Nary a door opener. So I looked around on the ground because it must have fallen off of the key chain somewhere, right?? Nope this car has no keyless entry…matter fact the only entry you can do is with the key or having someone reach over and let you in. I haven't had to do that in a minute. But that wasn't the worst part. The windows are manual. I can't tell you how long I sat there looking for the window button. Everytime I pull up to a drive thru of any sort I'm pissed off. You know how many turns it takes to get the whole window down? 28 – I counted.

To make a long story short, here is a list of the things that surprised me with the 1998 Cobalt…
· No arm rests, nothing to rest your arm on…my deltoids were tired…
· Automatic lights, how you have automatic lights but manual everything else??
· Manual side view mirrors. To change the passenger side mirror I need to get out of the car, get in the other side and imagine what angle I need in the driver seat to see out the mirror…they definitely didn't walk through this in driver's ed…
· No floor mats. Why?
· Cigarette lighter and no ash tray…I don't smoke but don't tease me…
· One interior light and its one of those push button lights from the QVC channel…

I'm sure there is more but I've limited my time driving it based on the features listed above. Needless to say, I hope the surgery goes fine and I'm back to the "old" car very soon.

For shout outs, I'm giving away one full turn of the manual windows.
AM – your quick addiction to myspace tells me you should never try crack…
SO – cutting off all my Nati connections…isn't that like taking away my flashlight during the day?
BR – For finally getting LA into your travel rotation…even if it is next quarter
SK – your life…seriously…even when you are on IR, you are still playing the game…
Everyone who reads these things but doesn't leave a comment…

M. aka "Anti-Enterprise Rental Car Spokesman"