LA Chronicles 14.5

My 27th reason for moving to LA was to have a better chance of being on NEXT. For those of you without cable, in the dark on MTV’s selection of reality tv, or too mature for mindless tv programming, NEXT is a show where one person gets to go on 4 dates in one outing. They receive a companion one by one until they decide the companion is the one they’d like to spend the rest of their life or weekend (whichever comes first) entertaining with corny jokes (Maybe that’s just me). Otherwise if the companion isn’t their cup of tea, they yell out NEXT in the most insensitive method that causes the person to instantly go from a suitor to a cussing sailor about to walk the plank.

But back to my desire to be on NEXT…on my “daily” morning run (by daily I mean every day that I actually get up early enough to run which is 37% of the time give or take 15%) I saw a film crew in the park. It didn’t surprise me as they are constantly shooting shows everywhere out here. However to my delight, I saw the big NEXT bus in the parking lot. So here was my chance…

After walking through my options mentally, I sprang into action. Realizing that running into the scene would result in instant denial and potential incarceration time, I went for the subtle approach. I jumped on the bus…I figured I had good chances regardless of which portion of the show I was walking in on…A) If it was the guy portion, I could position myself as a last minute add on and steal some guys chance of being NEXT’d. B) If it was a female portion, I could position myself as the guy NEXT’ing everyone and decided to change the show up and do a group date…Well it ended up being C) The female portion where they are waiting to are waiting on a companion that isn’t a male if you know what I mean…talk about feeling worthless…Not to mention these snitches alerted MTV security (which never quite makes it onto the show but imagine a real life version of the Green Giant and Incredible Hulk love child…minus the green) which turned my “daily” run into a sprint…

All of that to say I’ve checked off 1 of the 100 things I’m supposed to do in my first year in Hollywood…But for shout outs, I’m giving out NEXTs…
RC – for rolling with the homie…lol…
AH – for being patient with the shout-outs…better late than never
TB – for that meal…you threw down on the chicken…
JZ – for Kingdom Come…
Everyone – Enjoy your Thanksgiving with family and friends…

M. aka “Companion Reject”