Scrippers...

A topic that all of us know and love would be Strippers. So I had the fortune of attending a strip club last night in LA. Its actually a pretty funny situation. 1) Most strippers are aspiring _____. You can fill in the blank. Who in there right mind really thinks they can take off their clothes to make money for the rest of their life not to mention the lack of 401K at all joints. 2) Its LA and everyone is either famous, semi-famous, trying to be famous, or just infamous. 3) LA clubs close at 2am which moves all party-goers to the after set which always starts with an S and ends in tripper. With all these points combined you have a rather interesting environment.

Remember in school when it was great to have a low teacher to student ratio? Well this club has taken on that approach and strives to have a low stripper to patron ratio. I swear there had to have been a 1:3 ratio. Because of this all the songs were cut short such that all the ladies could get their equal time on the stage. Image the itunes format of listening to a snippet of a song but having to watch a girl unclothe in that same amount of time. HILARIOUS. She's up there for 1 min 37 secs and makes $3.76 to then come out to the general floor where the real business takes place.

These chics really need to be on Dame Dash's ultimate hustler. They give you one of these bit size itunes songs worth of a dance and what do you give them...$40 freaking dollars. Crazy...and its not like only ballers were in this place receiving this type of service. Every dude in there was going back to the boom room. (it was took quick to be a boom-boom room)

Besides that its always great to understand the game of strippers. They really try to connect with you so you think they enjoy your company so much that they would be doing this if you were at the neighborhood bar across the street for free. Seriously do you really care where I'm from or what I do for a living. Thats like going to the McDonald's drive thru and the speaker person asking you about yourself before trying to upsale you to the super size meal....Hilarious.

The best part is watching these guys fall in love. They really think this is a date. I mean I've dropped some serious cash on dates. (I'm a caker...I can't help it) However, this chic is at work!!!! You are a client and not a bachelor.

Ok - now that I've gotten that out of my system I have to share some of the funniest things I've heard over the week. I apologize ahead of time if these aren't funny because you weren't there...Next time make the trip and maybe you'll enjoy in the laughter.

1. "I only watch movies that I like so I've never seen that movie cuz I don't like it..."
2. When asking someone when they plan to have children..."When are you going to pull the goalie?"
3. "I have a problem.."...as he walks off for his 7th dance of the night at $40/dance
4. "That guy is a douche bag." said over a intercom system