LA Chronicles 3.5

First, I’d like to apologize to those of you that have grown accustomed to expecting these updates daily. It has been a combination of me not having enough time to sit down to write and also not a lot of interesting things happening such as the luggage debacle. Therefore I’ve labeled this entry 3.5 since it is in between 3.0 and 4.0.

The excitement started this morning. I received my car yesterday that had been shipped from Cincy. (Why do they call it shipping? It is actually trucked.) No more rental car, it was becoming official that I actually live here. Now that I have my car, I’m more conscious of gas prices. The difficult thing is unlike anywhere else I’ve ever lived there is no rhyme or reason to the prices. Back at the crib, you knew which gas stations would have gas for the low. Granted you were aware they actually put water in the gas but it kept your car rollin so you dealt with it. Here it varies day to day and station to station. Also – using an out of town debit card has become an exercise in Roulette. Sometime it works, sometimes they ask for my zip, and sometimes they ask me to see the attendant. For that last case, I usually just drive off because I’d rather see the end of the world than actually go into a gas station. Speaking of which, prize goes to person who can remember the year that was the last time they actually paid for gas with cash and did so for under $10.

During my 1.25 – 1.74 hour session getting to work, I have a lot of time to think about the important things in life such as: Why are there so many UPS trucks out here? Do they use them for public transit on the low? Why do so many cars ride around without license plates? It can’t be that many test drivers sitting in traffic? (Sidenote: Do you test drive a car out here during rush hour to see how it performs? You don’t want any surprises when you do the real thing.)

But on to the real excitement of my day, my first after hour entertainment experience in Los Angeles as a resident. Can I be a resident if I’m still living with a friend and don’t really have an address? I digress. So we decided to go to a club with a few friends. On the surface this appeared to be a good idea. In my past experience as a visitor to the greater Los Angeles area, I’d thoroughly enjoyed myself so how could it change that much now that I’m repping 91037??? Well to my dismay it did change and it changed drastically. The following is a brief recap of the night: (I’d write more but it just happened and its about 3:13am)

- We stood in line longer than it takes to get through a Sunday Baptist Church Worship. Only we didn’t get any word nor did we get the crackers or wine…The trick that this establishment used was that they would let 1 male in for every 2.3 females. Doesn’t sound horrible until you realize that every 3 females comes with 2 guys. Therefore, you need atleast 9 females to show up to meet your 2.3 female coverage that allows one guy to get in…
- Once we finally get in the spot, some ex-honor student decides to pull the fire alarm. Normally this wouldn’t be bad because you can turn it off and be back to Shoulder Lean in a few minutes. However, the genius engineer of this fire alarm decided to tie it directly to the electrical system which shut down everything in the place including the DJ’s set-up for music. So it became a social for about 25 minutes while they tried to restore the power. Meanwhile, DJ Pete & Repete decided to say over and over…”The party is not ov…” before he was drowned out by the fire alarms starting again…Once this issue was fixed the other DJ Laptop decided to kick the party back off with Montell Jordan’s “This is how we do it” which I struggled with for a number of reasons. 1) I love the Jordan family but when is the last time he had an actual hit besides this one; 2) Do you really want to call out This is how we do it after the club has been suspended without music for almost 30 minutes? 3) Play a song that will actually get everyone hype again asshole…
- As I continue to live out of a suitcase since my entire wardrobe doesn’t arrive until 10/13, I wasted a premium outfit on this night when I only have 8 to choose from to begin with. It didn’t help that everyone wanted to test the absorbency of my blazer to their drinks.
- The funniest moment of the night goes to MC for getting “Wooded” and put in the back seat as we left. It’s probably not an appropriate story for this venue but that ish was hilarious. Feel free to ask me offline.

Shout-Outs:

MC – for calling out the descent we made from last weekend in the A to this night in LA.
Jennifer – Yes I met another one but I abstained this time.
BR – Planning trip to LA to see Lakers vs. Me
SO/TK – Holding down the Nati


M. aka DJ 4getdaNite