LA Chronicles 13.1 (Half Marathon Special)

As an early disclaimer, these “good” times happened in Long Beach vs. LA but it is all the same to anyone unfamiliar with the 10, 110, 405, and 710. I’m not even sure how this actually happened since I didn’t lose a bet that I know of. Today October 11^th, I competed in the Long Beach Half Marathon. A couple things on that: 1) Not sure why they call it half as I’m pretty sure anytime you run for 13 miles it should be considered full plus some more; 2) I “competed” but it should be appropriately titled I beat up myself for 13 miles. I gave myself a goal of 1 hour and 55 minutes going into the race. I’m not really sure where this number came from since no math will give you 1:55. I knew I would run it under 2 hours because my special running slippers would have expired like Cinderella’s at Midnight after 120 minutes. Speaking of which, what was she doing out that late anyway? She knew she had to be in or else the poo hits the fan after the deadline. She should have got to the party early, drank the free early drinks (I always hear them advertised on the radio), and scooped her Prince Charming. This is what is wrong with relationships today. Not really but it sounded good and I digress.

The made up goal proved to actually be a challenge. My first mile came in at a plump 9 min 32 secs. I blame it on all the slow people in front of me but it probably has more to do with the 7am start with no sun, urban legends, and me saving my speed for mile 14. Following that less than ideal start, I was forced to do what we runners call “Run Fatboy Run.” Mile 2-4 featured me asking myself do I really want to do this. I was still close enough to the car that I could turn this running into something useful, a getaway. Mile 5-7 featured a number of algebra equations trying to calculate what percentage I had left in the race compared to how much I had in my legs. I also crossed the 10K point which is of significance as I have the Nike+ Human Race 10K coming up on 10/23. I quickly realized if I had a time machine that would take me forward 12 days I could be done running. Miles 8-9 were actually highlights as I got into a groove with a 7:30 min/mile pace that got me closer to that made up goal. Mile 10-11 thought 8 & 9 were show-offs so they decided to let me get passed by everyone’s grandparents. No really your granny can run her butt off. I guess she has no plans of waiting for this healthcare stuff to work itself out. Mile 12 was the longest mile of my life. I’m still mentally running it. Mile 13 didn’t exist as it didn’t feature a sign. Good thing the finish line was in view or else I’d be a little upset with the mile marker thief. I left just enough in the tank to actually sprint out the last 15 feet. It was great and I’m sure there is a video of it on youtube or maybe even Hulu. So after 13.1 rounds, I mean miles, I was able to eclipse that made up goal and finish in 1:51:24.

So after a day that featured a 4:30am alarm, I no doubt had a number of observations. Here is a collection of those I remember nearly 12 hours later:

- You are guaranteed a PR (Personal Record) when it is your first race at that distance. Note to self, never run the same distance twice.

- I was offered a hit from a Vaseline board around Mile 8 or so. This is by definition commercial innovation (shout out to my P&Gers). It was simply a poster board with various size collections of Vaseline. I’m not sure what Vaseline does to help you run but that probably explains the pain I’m in now.

- The most difficult thing of the day was attempting to run, drink, and not drown. While it is important to have water, I didn’t want to slow down as I was running at such a blazing pace which led to me taking half a cup of water in the nose. Surprisingly it proves tough to breathe when you are using both breathing holes to consume water.

- Speaking of water, I learned you should treat the water stations as an open bar at a wedding. If they are open, you should be drinking. The minute you pass it up you find yourself wishing you would have gotten two. Especially considering there is no consistency in the amounts of water given. It ranges from tear drops to 16 ounce. It is kind of like a water lottery.

In honor of my first “half” marathon, I’m giving out aching knees to my peeps:

- JL – Thanks for coming out to support all the way in Long Beach. I really appreciated seeing a familiar face when I wanted to die.

- Dad – Thanks for the advice on the tights. I avoided the ridicule of the veteran runners.

- EW – Thanks for letting me hold the couch cuz.

- BT – Congrats on finishing the Chicago Marathon.

- FDG – Congrats on blowing my time out of the water in 40 degree Evansville weather.

- JH – Happy Birthday old lady.

Seriously, thanks to everyone that sent messages, texts, voicemails, thoughts, prayers, and everything else.

M. aka Your Favorite Runner