LA Chronicles 11.5

Today was a day of firsts for me. No not those kind of firsts…ya’ll so nasty! Well I guess everyday has been a day of firsts now that I think about it except for the whole work thing because that happens every day. But today was an interesting collection of “Firsts.” The craziest first was being in 85 degree weather at the end of October…this is the first time I’ve seen air conditioned Halloween costumes.

Another one for those of you that have been to LA or even seen a movie about LA/Hollywood/Beverly Hills/Miracle Mile/etc, you know that there is an LA outfit. I didn’t realize how quickly I would buy into it since I consider myself original but the outfit has turned out to be more of a necessity than it is a look. (At least I’m telling myself that to make me not feel like a biter) And as they say while in Rome, do as an European. For those of you not sure of the get-up, two integral parts of the outfit are Sunglasses and Jeans. I thought I had these covered given my $13 shades I picked up in Vegas back in May and the 3 jean collection I had put together in my Nati life. However this uniform/outfit requires more than the base items I’ve collected through the first 2+ decades in my life. I tackled the first portion today by venturing out to find glasses. The long and short of it is: 2 stores later, 1 guy putting glasses on my face as if I didn’t know where they went, 6 pairs tried, and 2 much paid I had ½ of my outfit complete. Stay tuned on my jean hunt…

Another first was getting back on the courts. I was hoping to catch Ice Cube dropping a triple double but I guess it wasn’t a good day for him. I was actually challenged to show my skills on the court by a person, who asked not to be mentioned in my writing, that thought she could do something with me on the court. We spent most of the time walking through fundamentals like shooting, lay-ups, selecting legal counseling, dribbling, macking groupies and trash-talking before I was invited to my first game of LA pickup ball. How could I pass up the offer to ball with Cali’s best? Well it wasn’t really Cali’s best but it was Culver City’s best…Two hard fought games to 11 points later…why were these cats boocoo tired and heading in their respective directions. Needless to say my first time getting my Kobe on was not the most optimal…

What better to follow-up a good game on the court but fast food. Only today I wasn’t going to have just any fast food. It’d be my introduction to In & Out Burgers. I was actually fairly excited when I saw the sign because I figured this would be the best burger I’d ever since this is the reason Tom Cruise joined Scientology. I won’t give away the report as most of you have never had these burgers but I will say you won’t see me and TC together on Sunday. The most amazing thing about the about the place was that there sanitation engineer was working overtime and came up with the best restaurant modification I’d seen. They installed holes under the ketchup dispenser. BRILLIANT! Think of the amount of time saved not have to clean up catch-up messes. And you can just take the ketchup remnants that fall through and put them back in the container. Sort of a form of recycling…Now if that doesn’t get you to Cali then nothing will.

As we prepare to turn back the clock for daylight savings, I’m giving out hours since you can’t really claim then if you are sleep already and they expire at 2:01 am.
UM – Thanks for driving to CC
TB – The bowling experience
BR – You may be able to read these with the extra hour
TW – Cable w/ all my channels FINALLY

M. aka “Culver City King of the Courts”

LA Chronicles 10.5

My belongings FINALLY arrived. I was actually able to sleep in my own bed last night, which is the most comfortable bed ever. Don’t believe me come find out. I have a place full of boxes but the important stuff is unboxed like my matchbox car collection, President Shaped Playdough, and edible checker set. The place is growing on me as it wasn’t quite what I thought it would be when I first saw it. The bathroom is smedium at best. I have no central A/C but instead an AC Unit in the master but its one of those industrial units that runs on diesel. The living room/dining room/storage/work-out area is spacious even with a ton of boxes and trash filling the room. My bedroom is also a good size for those nights when you need a running start. I have a lot of windows which allows a lot of sun into the place which wouldn’t mean much to you if you live in Cincinnati right now. But out here the sun comes out every day and never calls in sick.

The biggest issue now is I’m waiting on cable and internet. You’d be surprised how not being connected can alter your life. For instance, you get to work at 8am and don’t leave until 8pm. Also – you spend a lot of time on the phone which has led to my next issue. I’m approximately $24.50 over my monthly minutes this month and it doesn’t start over until Friday at 9pm PST. The problem is partially due to the fact that I assumed my nights now started at 6pm since it was based on me having a Cincy number…not quite the case. T-Mobile is smarter than I had anticipated. They know I moved to LA even though I didn’t invite them to my going away party.

In unrelated news, I saw a video for Rich Boy (I know creative genius with the names, guess all the good ones are gone) online today and it started with the obligatory “rapper starting their day off” scene where he sits on the end of the bed full clothed and slides his chain(s) on. Number of chains depends on number of videos previously made. As you can guess, Rich Boy had AN chain. The video left a lot to be desired in terms of entertainment but then it made me wonder how would the music video of my life go down. (Don’t ask, I don’t have cable so my mind wanders) Luckily it’d be very similar to the Dr. Dre video “Nuthin but a G Thang” minus the impalas with switches, guy on the stoop, Snoop Dogg, blurred out apparel, volleyball game where young woman loses her top, pistol toting grill guy, Warren G, party where everyone does the same dance, refrigerator full of 40s, and Mariah Carey look alike that gets 40 shower. Basically it would be shot in California.

And with that I’m handing out Chronic Albums:
ME – She wanted a shout out so I hooked her up even though she didn’t do anything to deserve it. Are you related to Rich Boy?
SK- Your life…shout out worthy…I would shout out DG but he doesn’t even have time in his life to read these…
UM – For being my built in Mobile Mapquest/Google Maps…
KM – For the laughs at Day Day…

M. aka “Homel Essnomo”

LA Chronicles 9.5

The day has finally come or it will come tomorrow. My stuff will arrive TOMORROW!!! This has been like a bad divorce settlement where I never knew if I was going to ever see my furniture again. But after three weeks of waiting and 1.5 weeks late my stuff is going to be here. I’m actually considering crying at such a special moment in my life…

Some of you have asked about the “List” for Friday night. Well similar to my other List experiences, it yielded an unproductive night that was only saved by Lobster Pizza at Berries on Third St. In order to focus on the positive, let me just tell you that Berries has the best Lobster pizza I’ve ever had in my life…granted it is the only Lobster Pizza I’ve ever had but it’s the BEST. But you probably grow a nice size appetite after spending 75 minutes in line waiting to get in a club only to just leave because your feet hurt. (Sidenote – As a man its is hard to admit your feet hurt because you have an 87% chance that a woman within hearing distance of said statement will inform you that you have no room to talk given what women go through with their footwear selection.)

Highlight of the weekend was seeing Jackie Chan last night. He is currently the biggest celeb that I have see since being out here. And I don’t mean size when I say biggest. He was actually all of 5’3 or so. I didn’t believe it was him until I asked him if he understood the words coming out of my mouth and he looked at me a little confused. While we both waited for the valet to bring our cars, I asked him to share some easy to learn self defense moves since I figured a 5’3 can of hell-fire could show me a few things in case I ever get caught up in these mean streets. He showed me the “hung like a dragon” but made me promise to only use it if someone attacked my honor. So watch your conduct…

Passing out copies of Rush Hour 1 and 2 in honor of my new homeboy Jackie Chan:
UM – for the new spot Lola’s
MK – for the insider Grey’s Anatomy information
TB – For looking out for us even though we didn’t make it in the spot
SD – Welcome back – The Blue Carpet Treatment is going to be hot.

M. aka “Flying Lobster”

LA Chronicles 8.5

The day started in the red and I should have known it was going to be a bad day from that point. How does a day start in the red? Well you remember those parking space readers I mentioned in the 4.5 version of these Chronicles, they actually read a negative amount of parking spaces on level 2 Thursday morning. How is it possible to have -20 parking spaces? Is this system smart enough to read illegal parkers? Does the system have a sense of humor? Are 20 people going to be late to work looking for a parking spot because they didn’t believe the digital screens?

As usual, I digress…that should have told me the type of day I was going to have ahead of me. For the most part, the work day was good and I even got out of the office early in an attempt to miss traffic only to catch my daily fair traffic share at 3pm as 6-8pm. Did everyone else want to punish me for leaving work early so they decided to meet me on the 10? It is like a game of anti-Tag and I’m always it…or better yet we playing freeze tag on the interstate…

I’ll cut right to the worst part of the day. I decided to drive which isn’t a feat nor do I deserve a Scooby prize. I just normally ride since I’m the new guy that doesn’t know where he is going and I don’t have the most Hollywood ready automobile. A trick that everyone has caught onto and doesn’t quite work the same so I have to pick my spots. BUT I offered to drive to balance out the universe and I was positioning so MC could drive Friday night. Mistake #1. So we hit a happy hour off of Melrose and La Brea…not an important fact to the story but it gives those of you with visual minds a mental picture of the location. (Does anyone have another type of mind? Oral? Written? ) It is actually not that far from the new crib but I’ll get to that in time…As we leave the spot, I get the whip from valet, we climb in ready to re-enact the Usher “You don’t have to call video,” when out of nowhere I get hit by a white Tahoe and I’m not talking about the Lake. It caught me off guard because we were not moving and I was in my own lane. The Tahoe bounces off and busts a quick U-turn as we assume he is getting out of traffic but NO he is actually speeding off and I’ve become the victim of my first hit and run. Welcome to Los Angeles MATT! I pull around the corner to get out the street (Why am I giving more details here than I did in the insurance claim call??) and get out to assess the damage. My front driver’s side fender is dented in fairly well but everything else looks ok. Long story medium, my night was pretty much ruined…Let me know if you see a dented White Tahoe in those streets…They gone make me get Dough Boy on them out here…

BUT I won’t let this incident rain on my LA life parade…It is only a car and that is why I have insurance. Today got off to a better start as my trip in took just under an hour for the first time ever so I’m expecting big things tonight as we are on the “List” again…

AND I learned that my stuff is on the way and should be here early next week, so this time next week I’ll be in the new crib and ready for regular visitors so holla at ya boy…Also – I’ll have to find something to do with that extra 2.5 hours I have each day not spending in traffic…I was thinking about adopting...a bad habit…Any suggestions??

I’m giving out paint chips as my fender seems to have extra ones falling off this afternoon:
SB – Happy last birthday before 30!
LJ – Thanks for making me feel better after the whole situation went down.
UM – Thanks for the drinks and congrats on the promo.
JH – See you in Nov. when you come through Hollywood
JZ – Welcome back and looking forward to hearing the rest of the album.
PD – Stop making albums, PLEASE.
TB – Thanks for the connects on everything!

M aka “Get Hit and Stay”

LA Chronicles 7.5

Where in the world is Carmen San Diego?? Do you remember this game which was later made into a TV show? For the sake of time, I’ll jump start your memory. You basically followed Carmen across the world based on clues you received from people that had seen Carmen. (Side Note #1: She was never in San Diego as her name may imply) You collected these clues at each location and you were given options for your next stop at the end of the visit. Once you located Carmen you won the game. (Side Note #2: If this isn’t how the game went, please refrain from bursting my bubble or you can expect to get an electronic ass whoopin)

You may ask why I bring up Carmen San Diego…well I feel like my lodgings in LA are becoming Carmen San Diego. No matter how hard I try to lessen my drive time by taking alternate routes, I continue to pick the wrong next stop on my way to find Carmen. It is almost like she is leaving me faulty clues such as “Take the 101 South…I mean 101 North…I mean 10 East….I mean 134 West.” I’ve tried just about everything including Soul Train, the Underground Railroad, and the Midnight Train to Georgia. Last night I thought I was being slick by going in the opposite direction of traffic and taking a roundabout path. Unfortunately I missed my exit going east so I continued north for approximately 8.3 miles before realizing I was closer to the Bay than I was Carmen S. You ever been in the car so long that you forgot you actually went to work that day? Some days I feel like I work at the gas station because that is usually my first stop.

However, my part-time job testing my car at speeds of 1-8 MPHs will soon come to an end. I was informed today that my belongings have begun their trip to Sunny California. I feel like my couch sent me out here first to see how it would be before agreeing to follow. Or Cincinnati was so mad I left that it held my furniture hostage until we reached an agreement. But I’ll have everything by Monday, crossing my fingers and praying, to move in and cut my work commute down to 20 minutes. Imagine how much more fun my days will be when they are 24 hours again vs. 21 I’ve been getting the past two weeks.

For shout outs, I’m giving away miles because I have way too many of those these days:
MC – For being the best roommate since Puck on the Real World
UM – For being my long lost twin…I mean even Nip/Tuck
Everyone – For questioning me being on Myspace when you have to be on to see me online

M aka “F Carmen San Diego”

LA Chronicles 6.5

IT finally happened…No I didn’t meet Megan Good but I’m still on the look out…”Tell me have you seen her”…And no they haven’t filmed my autobiography…But IT did rain yesterday and today for that matter. To put things into perspective, rain is to LA as TO is to any football team…it is very disruptive to say the least. It may be an overstatement to say it shut the city down but since I received my BS degree in exaggeration it shut this mother down. I was in traffic waiting to get into traffic. I also got the bright idea around 6pm to try a new route to get to the crib. Those familiar with LA know that it is easier to get a Bentley with a driver and built in parking spot than it is to go east to west or west to east without sitting in traffic. Just my luck I tried the streets to go east. Mistake #1.

But back to the rain…After making a few calls we find out that most people don’t go out when it rains that day. Not that they don’t go out in the rain. They don’t go out when it has rained since the previous sunrise. Why you may ask?? No logical answer I can give you. But I think it has something to do car wash operating hours and the way rain flows from the Hollywood sign.

However – being the soldiers we are, we decided to get in them streets anyway with less than average expectations for the night. MC pulled his magic and got us on the “List” at this one spot. Now in most English speaking locals, being on the “List” signifies a VIP-like nature. I’m not saying the “List” gets you in the spot free and bottle service all night with the baddest females at your discretion. But I’d think that it would get you past the line that the random man off the streets stands in…right? Mistake #2. We get to the spot and are informed that the long line with the most random mix of people ever seen since “We are the world”…For real, who put this list together...the IRS??? So we had to have a team meeting for the decision that stood in front of us…1) Stay in line and take it as a learning opportunity 2) Chalk it up as a loss and get on a game of NBA 2K7 (which is the hottest basketball game out right now) 3) Find another spot to continue the Matt Gone Wild tour (minus beads). We went with option three. Luckily our homegirl from the Nati, now serving time in AZ, was in town for work. She and her cousin (our new best friend – other best friends don’t feel threatened cuz there are enough heart necklaces to go around) were hitting a spot down the street so we kick pushed down the way. Long story short – I was able to link up with Ray J and kick it. And by “link up” I mean walk by and by “kick it” I mean dance to the same song. The spot ended up being the best spot I’ve been to on Friday since my first time out here back in August so it gave me hope for Fridays again. I was just about ready to make it a 6 day week – I had a service call in God.

Also – Tia was celebrating her 25th birthday in the spot. As you are thinking to yourself right now, I don’t know who Tia is either. However – she got an entry song when she rolled up which they messed up three times but once they got it right she and her entourage rolled in to the cheers of the crowd. Again – I’m not sure who she is nor can I tell you where to find her. I tried googling her but only got Travel and Transportation websites…But she was mad cool when I randomly introduced her to MC and she realized she didn’t know me. She however did know Ray J and by know I mean know that he is 5’6 in real life.

In other exciting news, I got my first Cali haircut today. For those of you that know me, you realize how traumatic an experience this would be for me. I’ve only had approximately three barbers in my life. One for each city I’ve actually lived in over time. I’ve also had the best barber for the past 4+ years which doesn’t seem that long but when you get a cut every week it adds up…to about 208 haircuts give or take 6. (How is that for standard deviation SQ?) So I hit the spot up here by the crib, it was awkward because I didn’t even remember what my cut was called. Seriously - I’ve not had to ask for a type of haircut since ’02. I went with the bald fade since that is the first thing that came to mind…Mistake #3. Not that she (yeah the barber was a female which was new for me because we couldn’t really talk about video hoess or deep male secrets that women don’t know) did a bad job. She actually did her thing its just that its way closer than I’m accustomed but hair is like a good woman, once its gone you can’t get it back but have to wait for another to replace it unless your balding but then I guess your married and you don’t want to cut your hair or does that mean your single because you don’t have hair but you used to have a hair and you probably want hair…I digress. The cut was cool. I’ll probably try again in two weeks or so. They also don’t go by appointments like my man Vonn back in the Nati which makes the trip last about an hour and given my fast paced, mile a minute life I just don’t have that kind of time on the regular. I do but my agent (aka me) tells me I should be more conscious of how I spend my time.

But to wrap it up so I can go out and have something else happen to give me material for this thing, on to the shout outs and I’m giving out Ray J cds (Insert Joke here):

KW – officially kicking off the LA visits
SR – not kicking a field goal and going for the win only to get stopped on the 2
BBD – the funniest story I heard all week – excluding the ones I tell
AH – thanks for the Vegas invite…selfish!
CG – Informing me that my entire 2007 travel budget is dedicated to May for your wedding related events

M. aka “Tia’s #1 Fan”

LA Chronicles 5.5

I’m in wonderful Los Angeles trying my best to fight off what appears to be the beginning of a cold. I guess I should cut out my early morning streaking as it can be kind of chilly before 9am. This actually happens once a year, the cough and not the streaking, for about a week. I used to think it was caused by the season change but since my seasons aren’t really changing I guess it is more of a genetic thing. Proof of that whole Nature vs. Nurture argument, not sure which side this supports though.

What better time to catch a cold than the days before your about to move. The good news is that I’ll actually have movers delivering my most cherished belongings. The bad news is I’m not really sure when they will be doing this delivering. For those of you that have moved across the country, you may understand this math. 1) My stuff was picked up on Sept. 29th which is approximately 12 days ago give or take an hour; 2) I asked for everything to be delivered on Oct. 13th which is 2 days from now give or take an hour; 3) It only takes 5 days to drive from OH to CA. My car “shipping” proved this last week. 4) The price of tea in China is $1.84.

Given all that I’d say that it shouldn’t be an issue for me to be ready to move in on Friday. However, this moving company is telling me it could take anywhere from Friday to 10 business days following to make the delivery. This isn’t landing a shuttle on Pluto or delivering a baby or even predicting the weather. It is moving a number of objects from point A to point B and you have a standard deviation of 10 BUSINESS days??? Amazingly they tell you this after you’ve paid half of your money and your belongings are on a truck. Needless to say – I’ll be making a phone call tomorrow.

Robitussins (Tussins) go to the following people:
AH – For calling me out on my knowledge of the City of Angels
Melly Mel – For sharing your experience and hyping me up to cry on the phone tomorrow with the moving company
JH – Happy Birthday Old Lady!!!
CG – For the invite to Jamaica…selfish summa
CS – For the Secret Update
MS – For knowing me for 26 years but only being 22…

M. aka “Living out of busted Luggage”

LA Chronicles 4.5

As I wrap up my first weekend west of the Mississippi, I thought now is as good of a time as any to do my next edition of the chronicles. I’m also noticing a theme with these. I usually go on and on about something that is amazing to me and then I also give a few insights into my adventures. Well as they say if it ain’t broke then don’t fix it…

One thing that continues to puzzle me as I spend my first week here (of course this is based on the fact that a week is ample time to develop opinions on everything) is how they do parking garages out here. On multiple occasions, I’ve been in a parking garage that has one of these digital screens that tell you how many spots are available on each level. You are probably saying this sounds like a good idea which I agreed with up until further review. There is one inherit flaw in this brilliant system: (I love blogs because I get to use random punctuation marks incorrectly but since its my blog I do what I do) how do you update the board based on people coming and going? Are there people on each level watching the in and out traffic and quickly entering this data in the system? ( Imagine a man sitting there behind a plus and minus button going at it all day) What would make this an even better solution? Include one of these at the club for tracking men and women. Therefore I could show up and decide based on ratio if I was willing to wait in line for 2 hours or if the numbers were so far out of whack that I should tuck my tail in and go home.

Saturday was my exploration day. I spent most of the day running around town attempting to get lost and then un-lost once I discovered where I was and then repeat. I did however become very well acquainted with Nordstroms. They have them on every corner out here and based on the prices I can see why. I went into these expecting to see my Aunt Sale or Uncle Clearance but neither were around. I’m by no means rich but I’m aight (Jim Jones saying “Ballin” in the background) if you know what I mean. However, I saw a Lacoste Polo for $258. Now I know the crocodile hunter just died and the end of slavery in addition to gas prices has affected the price of cotton but $258 and I don’t even get sleeves???

Saturday night started off at a Sushi joint. For those of you that don’t know, Sushi was the 17th reason for me moving out here. We then headed to the JuJu. The JuJu was actually the complete opposite of the White Lotus from the night before. It was down to earth and completely anti-hollywood. It also featured the great sounds of DJ Al Jackson. Who is he you may be asking? I’m not sure but he said his name in between each song so I couldn’t help but remember it and if he ever drops a CD you can say you heard it here first. It was a cool spot with lots of space. Crowd had a neo-soul feel to it and I was able to wear my sneaks and t-shirt which made it even better (refer to last post on what happened to my blazer at the Lotus).

JuJu also featured uninhibited free-style dancing. And when I say free, I mean FREE. Some cats brought back moves that made you laugh. Some offered moves that my moms would probably relate to and some brought out dances that made it feel like b-roll footage from the “So you think you could dance” footage.

Today was actually the most productive day of the weekend. It started with a little Roscoe’s Chicken and Waffles which I’ll from now on refer to as Scoe’s since I’m a local. I’ve eaten there before and not been impressed when I visited. However, today they must have put something special (read as crack) in the waffles and chicken because I wanted to eat my plate. I licked my fingers so hard I had melanin in between my teeth. I then stopped by the car wash to get the whip cleaned. For $13.95 I expected them to clean the whip and then dry it off…boy was I surprised. Not only did they vacuum out the car but they did the expected wash and then cleaned every single detail of my Jeep. Even the top of the joint which I didn’t even know got dirty. This man was cleaning the car like he owned it. I’ve never spent that much time or effort cleaning any car (that includes my mom’s Buick Lesabre I took to prom in ‘97). But I appreciated the effort and will be back very soon since this was the best $13.95 I’ve spent since being out here.

And now for the much anticipated shout-outs which will be replaced by Waffles in honor of Scoe’s:

KW – for technically being my first visitor even though she’s coming for work and will only be here one night
LJ – for questioning the parking garage digital board so that I didn’t think I was crazy.
UM – For the reco on the sushi spot
SK – for having season tickets to every NFL team
CG – Happy Birthday kid!

M. aka “Finger lickin baller on a budget”

LA Chronicles 3.5

First, I’d like to apologize to those of you that have grown accustomed to expecting these updates daily. It has been a combination of me not having enough time to sit down to write and also not a lot of interesting things happening such as the luggage debacle. Therefore I’ve labeled this entry 3.5 since it is in between 3.0 and 4.0.

The excitement started this morning. I received my car yesterday that had been shipped from Cincy. (Why do they call it shipping? It is actually trucked.) No more rental car, it was becoming official that I actually live here. Now that I have my car, I’m more conscious of gas prices. The difficult thing is unlike anywhere else I’ve ever lived there is no rhyme or reason to the prices. Back at the crib, you knew which gas stations would have gas for the low. Granted you were aware they actually put water in the gas but it kept your car rollin so you dealt with it. Here it varies day to day and station to station. Also – using an out of town debit card has become an exercise in Roulette. Sometime it works, sometimes they ask for my zip, and sometimes they ask me to see the attendant. For that last case, I usually just drive off because I’d rather see the end of the world than actually go into a gas station. Speaking of which, prize goes to person who can remember the year that was the last time they actually paid for gas with cash and did so for under $10.

During my 1.25 – 1.74 hour session getting to work, I have a lot of time to think about the important things in life such as: Why are there so many UPS trucks out here? Do they use them for public transit on the low? Why do so many cars ride around without license plates? It can’t be that many test drivers sitting in traffic? (Sidenote: Do you test drive a car out here during rush hour to see how it performs? You don’t want any surprises when you do the real thing.)

But on to the real excitement of my day, my first after hour entertainment experience in Los Angeles as a resident. Can I be a resident if I’m still living with a friend and don’t really have an address? I digress. So we decided to go to a club with a few friends. On the surface this appeared to be a good idea. In my past experience as a visitor to the greater Los Angeles area, I’d thoroughly enjoyed myself so how could it change that much now that I’m repping 91037??? Well to my dismay it did change and it changed drastically. The following is a brief recap of the night: (I’d write more but it just happened and its about 3:13am)

- We stood in line longer than it takes to get through a Sunday Baptist Church Worship. Only we didn’t get any word nor did we get the crackers or wine…The trick that this establishment used was that they would let 1 male in for every 2.3 females. Doesn’t sound horrible until you realize that every 3 females comes with 2 guys. Therefore, you need atleast 9 females to show up to meet your 2.3 female coverage that allows one guy to get in…
- Once we finally get in the spot, some ex-honor student decides to pull the fire alarm. Normally this wouldn’t be bad because you can turn it off and be back to Shoulder Lean in a few minutes. However, the genius engineer of this fire alarm decided to tie it directly to the electrical system which shut down everything in the place including the DJ’s set-up for music. So it became a social for about 25 minutes while they tried to restore the power. Meanwhile, DJ Pete & Repete decided to say over and over…”The party is not ov…” before he was drowned out by the fire alarms starting again…Once this issue was fixed the other DJ Laptop decided to kick the party back off with Montell Jordan’s “This is how we do it” which I struggled with for a number of reasons. 1) I love the Jordan family but when is the last time he had an actual hit besides this one; 2) Do you really want to call out This is how we do it after the club has been suspended without music for almost 30 minutes? 3) Play a song that will actually get everyone hype again asshole…
- As I continue to live out of a suitcase since my entire wardrobe doesn’t arrive until 10/13, I wasted a premium outfit on this night when I only have 8 to choose from to begin with. It didn’t help that everyone wanted to test the absorbency of my blazer to their drinks.
- The funniest moment of the night goes to MC for getting “Wooded” and put in the back seat as we left. It’s probably not an appropriate story for this venue but that ish was hilarious. Feel free to ask me offline.

Shout-Outs:

MC – for calling out the descent we made from last weekend in the A to this night in LA.
Jennifer – Yes I met another one but I abstained this time.
BR – Planning trip to LA to see Lakers vs. Me
SO/TK – Holding down the Nati


M. aka DJ 4getdaNite

LA Chronicles 2.0

Does anyone know how to reprogram your body’s clock? Or atleast push it back a few hours?

After waking up every hour on the hour after 1am, I realized I need to get on this Cali time very quickly or else I’ll have to switch to working the third shift. I actually think I woke up my alarm this morning.

And while I’m on the time theme, the two hour drive to work also made my day. I really do enjoy listening to the radio so long that they repeat the topics. I mean its one thing to hear the weather twice but when you hear a live program loop you know you’ve been in the car for a minute. I actually wish they’d throw some rest stops on the trip so I could have a pit stop. The craziest thing is I only went 22 miles.

But on to the positive things like my new job. Now I bet back when me and my friends were staying up all night to get through our tecmo bowl season because the NES didn’t have a save feature or when I kept my own stats on paper for my RBI baseball season or when I left the game on pause over days because I didn’t want to lose my spot on the game that my mom never thought I’d be getting paid to reapply all those learnings. (Oops – still using P&G words that aren’t really words at all.)

The day was overall a good day. I got my first non-P&G work email, received a valuable lesson in futility, passed my beloved Lakers home court twice, and only had one cup of starbucks.

Shout outs:
MC - For the connect on the BET Party tonight even though we couldn't make it.
LJ - On the Raja Bell ppt
BR - On calling me during a meeting with my boss
DD - On talking me through the ride home

M. aka “Coasting, literally, to work”

LA Chronicles 1.0

I’ve finally touched down in Sunny Southern California after a pit stop in Atlanta over the weekend. I figured the easiest way to keep people up to speed with what is going on in my life is to do this new thing they call “blogging”…However, I can’t promise I’ll be any good at it nor will I promise that I’ll do more this on a regular basis…without further ado…the LA Chronicles 1.0…(imagine good background music)

This weekend featured myself and my kicking it partner in crime, MC, going down south for a little southern hospitality. I won’t go into details on the weekend to keep from incremenating myself or any others involved in the debauchery…Just know that the A showed us love…

Shout Outs:
SQ – holding down the lodging and weekend planning
CC – introducing us to the fam
LS – the deep convos with us at 3am
TE – just a good time walk’n it out
CB – blast from the washu past
LJ – buckhead fine dining

But back to LA, I’m here counting down the last few hours of my unemployment before starting the new gig. Overall – I’m looking forward to joining the work force tomorrow despite the getting up part (although I’ll most likely be up at 5:30 am due to the time difference) and sitting in traffic for 2 hours to go 20 miles and not playing on internet and not …but I digress. I’m really feeling the weather out here. I mean sunny skies and 80 degree weather how could you be mad and it would take something pretty big to mess up your day…something like scuffing your A1s.

Really the only bad thing to happen so far is that my suitcase wheel was broken when I picked up my luggage. Now this wouldn’t normally upset me but 1) I’ve used said luggage for two trips; 2) I just purchased this not-so-cheap piece of garment hauler; 3) The Sales Lady specifically asked me did I travel a lot which I replied yes and she proceeded to walk me past the cheaper pieces of ish to the obviously more expensive piece of ish that would break following the second trip…So you may be saying stop tripping and go get it replaced…which is a very optimistic look at things…however, I had to lug this 1 wheeled-60lb bag with me and my other 3 bags because of her mistake in recognizing that someone who travels a lot only makes one trip…would a person who travels not a lot travel < 1 trip ever??? And what are the luggage guys doing in the back to my luggage to break a wheel? This thing is reinforced with titanium rods and all this army type stuff. Are they working on their favorite Ultimate Warrior move? Or are they playing cornhole (shout out to my Cincy folks that know what cornhole is…basically European version of horse shoes) with my luggage? I’ll end it there on those important questions…stay tuned for a recap of my first day of work…It reminds me of school…like I should have gone shopping for a new outfit and layed it out on the bed with the pants hanging down over the shoes…

M. aka Disgruntled Luggage Purchaser